The Pest in the Mirror

October 4th, 2010 by Stuart White

New York City is plagued by a litany of pests. Many have become cultural touchstones, common enemies whose persistence and prevalence have made them just as much a part of the Big Apple as the people who walk its streets. However, one New York pest stands head and shoulders above the rest, literally. I’m referring, of course, to New Yorkers themselves.

While many of New Yorkers’ foibles have been explained away by making an excuse of their always-on-the-move lifestyle and the attendant stresses of living in the city that never sleeps, let’s face it: sometimes New Yorkers can be downright intolerable.

Are you still unconvinced? Taken aback? Angrier than a Mets fan in October? If so, you’re a New Yorker, so take a moment to learn some of the reasons the rest of the world makes fun of you behind your back.

  • Enough about your pizza already.  Sure, New York is a great city for pizza, but let’s face it: for every stand-out pizza joint there are 10 dingy shanties selling rubbery slices that taste more than a little like cardboard.  And as for the New York vs. Chicago thing? Get over it.
  • Can someone do something about all these hipsters? I know, I know, New York didn’t invent the hipster, but ever since the days of Andy Warhol, it has acted as the de facto fatherland of legions of equally insufferable pseudo-intellectuals, all of whom seem to belong to terrible bands.
  • Something about New York breeds the worst kind of elitists. Yes, New York has great restaurants, enviable museums, and more nightlife than you can shake a glow-stick at. It also has about 8 million snobs who won’t shut up about it.
  • Speaking of New York elitism, being from New York doesn’t mean you can automatically do something better than the people who did it first. Leave bourbon to the pros, you yankee pests.

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