Pacifiers, Play Pens and Terrible Toddlers

October 3rd, 2010 by Brooks Newkirk

By Brooks Newkirk

Kids are adorable, there’s no denying that. Just check out this trailer from the movie “Babies” for proof. But, and this is a big BUT, they can also be annoying and crazy as hell. Just look at this viral video of a two-year-old chain smoking. Now that’s crazy.

You can run into pesky children terrorizing innocent people with unnecessary crying and temper tantrums anywhere, from the train to the sidewalks to the mall. So what are you to do, if you’re trapped in a tight spot, like a plane, with a terrible toddler? You can’t yell at the parent for letting their kid run around like a damn fool, and you definitely can’t discipline the child, so follow these tips to help you cope:

Tip #1: Tune them out. One of the best tricks for dealing with a terrible child is to ignore them. Just put on your iPod, close your eyes and pretend you’re on a tropical island somewhere. If your iPod earpiece isn’t enough to drown out their high-pitched squeals, try these earphones from Dr. Dre.

Tip #2: Stare the parents down. This tip can be a little awkward, but if the parents aren’t doing anything to quite their child, stare at them and sigh loudly. Hopefully this will cause them to do something to get their kid to quite down. On the flip side, they could get pissed and want to fight you. If that’s the case, be prepared by taking boxing classes at Trinity Boxing Club in Manhattan.

Tip#3: Be Patience. Just try to be patient. Children tend to act out because they’re frustrated, angry or just tired. WebMD says kids throw temper tantrums because they don’t know how to express themselves. So just relax, they’re not you’re children and you don’t have to take them home.

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